You know you're drunk when...

... You can't stand up straight.

... You can't find your own arse with both hands.

... Capt'n Jack Sparrow is making perfect sense.

... You re-open a blog left dead for nine months. Hasn't it been more?

Queen of...

*Entering bedroom*
Me: So, did you catch him?
E: Who?
Me: The guy who set off the bomb.

A small hint of how "tidy" it was there. You know, there isn't any law against at least organising the chaos.
Well, I'm not one to talk, it's hard to tell the table down in my room is in fact glass and see-through. Don't worry, though, all the dust is covered by a thick layer of books, sketch book, and clothes, all of which should have been put away... But it is rather organised, I know where everything is!

With that being said... P.S. I love you is the best movie since ever and I pray God I won't turn into Holly on the beginning there! Honestly, with that show of woman-ness makes me doubt I have ovaries, at the same time make me so lucky to have them so I will (hopefully) not have to deal with an over-emotional wife in the future. I'd much rather deal with a Gerry-ish husband, minus the dying-of-brain-tumor part. Nice!

And it's not wrong to listen to Christmas songs now, is it? Cuz I'm obsessed with Fairytale of New York, hence the title.

I'm fine, I'm fine, just scaring the shit out of myself by accidentally saying "bloody hell" in an extremely British accent in the middle of the night...

Title not necessary

XD

FML?

"Today,i woke up at 4. a.m, suddenly remembering that i had an end-of-term test for math. I jumped out of bed, revised for 3 hours, then looked at the calendar, and realised that i had had the math test yesterday, a friday, and today was saturday. FML"

More like "Hello, real-life Hermione Granger!" than "FML" if you ask me. Get a frickin' sense of humour! XD

Sometimes we're genius...

... Sometimes we're not.

E: What's the opposite of disappear?

Me (slightly annoyed): Appear!... Honestly, you just remove the dis...

In Scotland?

And I just realised the trouble with kilted men and bathroom signs...

What the bloody hell?

Why is he wearing underwear? Let alone boxer-shorts! Blasphemy, I tell you, BLASPHEMY!

Inside your head / on the floor

"Of course it is happening inside your head...but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" - Albus Dumbledore
I'm gonna slam that in the face of my psychiatrist!

No, I'm not, but it shows that I'm at least not more delusional than Rowling, right? Right?!?

And we were talking about how to spell dyslexia, cuz E sent me a text here a while ago where she had spelled it "dysilexia" or something like that...
E: Don't you hear that silent I?
Me: No, I don't hear silent Is, honey!

But I do hear silent Hs, as in  "honestly". Honestly, I do!

And we shared a bed, since we're too lazy to find a mattress and she insisted on sleeping outmost, even though she constantly either throws down her covers or falls out herself...
Me: Come a bit closer here, then, so you don't fall out.
E: Yeah, I'm just gonna turn over here. *Thunk!*
Me *leaning over the edge to see her sprawled out on the floor, shaking with laughter*: Did you survive?
E: Yes, but I hit my foot!

Problems, if you ask me. XD

Bloglovin'

Now I'm actually on bloglovin! Wasn't my idea though, but maybe someone else will get lost in the jungle of blogs and discover how stoopid my humour is at times.

Also, it's the big Twin Talk days now, I don't know how many things we've (me and E) have said together the last few days... One of the funnier had to be after dinner and we both looked at each other and "Thanks for the food!" in complete sync. Yay pizza, by the way!

Cake!

Alternatively: I bought a cupcake for us to share, but you ate the whole damn thing!

Yes, "share" is not in someone's dictionary. Just as "eat up or the others will take all the cake" isn't in someone elses. But I did get cake today! That's what grandmothers are for! :D

Talking of, the strangest thing happened! My Grandmother have actually bought a spinning-bike now and have it in the room where I dreamt she had it! Freaky! But it did not play music and my admirer did not show up, which is good all the same, I'd get scared out of my skin if he had managed to track me down. On the other hand, he is Irish... Well, it wouldn't be the best of timings, with me being at my grandparents. Hm...

And it is apparently more flattering to be compared with Hagrid than your boyfriend's ex. Go figure...  XD

The weather!

With freaking Gerard Butler! Who have no idea what he's doing.

My blankie!

Well, duvet, then. Anyway, we decided to just take the guest-room and the one doublebed last night. Two pillows, two duvets, one madrass.
But did I get to keep my cover? No... She decided to kick her own down on the floor and take mine. Worked fine for a while when we both curled up under it, but then she decided she wanted it all by herself and yanked hard! I yanked back, because it was my goddamn duvet!
Yank here, yank there, yank back again... After a while she realised it wasn't hers, and began looking for the other and luckily found it again on the floor so we could sleep some more. How long we've been sharing that one duvet we still have no idea, but it had to be a while.

We also had some fun before falling asleep, which left me writhling against the wall. No, all she did was a rather poor imitation of Gerard Butler, but it was hilarious at the time. And I was tired enough to have a very vivid imagination and the thought of being in bed with Gerry-boy was enough to almost make me hyperventilate from laughter. Yep, it's called being pathetic.

Now, some Irish music!

This almost made me cry the first time I listened to it, because after reading Outlander and stuff I've really realised that history, that happened to people! And even though this is Irish history, it have every ounce of the same emotions involved as the happenings on Culloden in Scotland.

And some happy music:

Since I can't say "kiss me, I'm Irish" I can still say "kiss me, you're Irish!" Works even better, if you ask me!

This made me happy!

This made me very, very happy, indeed! Complete stranger on Facebook, but I thought it was very sweet, spelling nothwithstanding.

--

Watch us fail big time!

Like anyone was actually interested in seeing that... Well, we found it very funny, at least! Too bad I didn't get to record the whole make up session, I only remembered halfway through and then the cam stopped working. Oh, well...

I'm blogging now!

Yeah, that wasn't obvious at all... Don't really have anything to say, I'm too busy reading Voyager, of the Outlander series. Third book and I'm soon finished... Seems a bit of a waste to sail halfway around the globe, for a seasick man nonetheless, to hunt down a single lad. Well, some other things got in the way too, but otherwise they could sought refurgee in France or something. Yeah, I find that part of the plot a trifle thin, but I'll just roll with it. (Sorry if I spoiled anything for anyone.)

And the day I'll understand men, the sun will surely be setting in the east.

Um... That's all then.

--

No, it's not! The original title of this should be Bare-arsed in the bog but stupid as I am, I forgot!

Anyway, we're having a project at school now, which includes a trip out on the boggy bog. Fine, wellington boots are a must and E took it all the way and showed up in waders. It might seem as a bit of an overkill, but it was the only thing she had, and good riddance that was too!

She stepped directly into a suckish hole, which, logically enough, suck her down 'til she had water up to her knee and well over I think. Thanks to the glorious, green waders she stayed dry, but it was a bit of work to haul her up again. As the hole generated a nice vacuum, the boot stayed put while her leg made some progress upwards.

As it was, the waders were firmly tied to her jeans. Which didn't follow her leg and my pulling any more than the boot and it was a near thing not the entire class got a nice view of her pale, bare arse in the middle of searching for plants. (Sorry, but there's a scarce supply of white women with tanned arses, the truth!)

We did get her out of there in the end though, properly clothed and dry, and another nice story to tell. :D

Reminds us of someone?

A certain English teacher? Gooone... UsUUUally...

A very disturbing afternoon

I went to bed to relax and fell asleep, which is rather normal, I think. What I dreamt was a bit peculiar, though.
First it was as close to normal as it gets, rats or something, so I woke up again, finding that at least one of my uncles were visiting, one of them who never drops by. I went out, through the office to the back, to them to find a girl I've known for about my whole life but never gotten close to and her father also had dropped by. We somehow ended up in the barn to find a lot of bikes, some of them not even having wheels and she commented one of them had a really bad seat, a banana seat as I'm pretty sure it's called.
Then my mother found an old scale (you know the kind that went out of fashion in the 50s) and weighed herself to check if it was still working, which she concluded it wasn't. I almost said something about it was a nice excuse to deny she had got fatter, but didn't. I tried fixing it, without really knowing what the problem was and cut my finger on one of the springs. To keep infections out I pressed it so it would bleed more, but about all that came out was water. After forcing a couple of drops out I was satisfied. And woke up again! [we don't have an exit in the office and not that big of a barn.]
Now I had managed to sleep-walk somewhere and didn't recognise the people around me. They were about my age and mostly guys and it smelled like dinner was around the corner. I took a peek out the window and concluded I know that road, I know that grey box that is a house, because that's where I'm supposed to be!
Stuttering I try to tell one of the guys, the one I guess lives there, my problem and he fills me in on what have happened. I take a seat at the arm of the couch, next to a blonde fellow trying sit a black-haired one to death. I'm invited to join and slips down with a comment about "We're gonna squish him completely" about the black-haired dude. He escapes somehow and me and Blondie are left to stare at each other until he inclines us both down and kiss me. Badly! Barely any lip movement and he literary pushed his spit over in my mouth.
I excuse myself to go to the kitchen and meet the mother, who is indeed cooking some chili or something. I ask if someone have a cigarette I could steal ("bomme") and she says it's just to help myself from the pack on the floor. Not asking why she have her smoke on the floor I kneel down and opens it, finding just butts save for one. Now the mother and (what I again guess to be) aunt and younger sister fiddels around with the dishwasher. I look up to hear baby-noises coming from the door of the open dishwasher. Almost screaming because they are just trying to soothe the baby instead of getting it out, I feel my vision blurring and wake up. [I have no idea who lived up at the farm and doubt they are my age. Plus, the baby-sounds would be related to the kid on the bus today. I also had to save a half-smoked fag because class started before I could finish it today.]
Now I know I'm awake, my head is heavy and I feel quite different. Not that you need to know at all, but if I'm going to tell this, I'm including everything; I stared touching myself. After a short while of that I looked up some anime-vids on youtube, even if I've never been into anime. It wasn't long before I got sick of them always ending with the same clip and slipped down some sort of water-slide, where a fire chased me to the first turn. The board I'm lying on goes pretty fast and I see a big-screen TV which was advertising for Ouran High School. Wanting to know when it was on TV, I hold out my hands to the edges of the slide to stop and the board keeps going while I watch the add, which I reacts on how strangely they pronounce "Ouran". Soon I keep slidling, whithout catching when the show went, and the slide runs dry.
I reach the end and stumbles out, falling flat on my face and wonders how many thinks I'm drunk, something I'm not! I look around and concludes I'm in an indoors petting zoo. After a kid runs off with one of my high-heeled, yellow shoes I wander around the small room and look at the animals. I meet a small boy (who actually looked a lot like one of my classmates. Well, he looks like he's twelve anyway,) and asked if he had taken my shoe. He hadn't, but he did have food for the animals, who had been let out of their cages and now roamed around. I saw black terriers and ferrets (brown, not white ) and some small rat-like things.
Then, a big bird looking like a cross between an ostrich and a pelican came up to me and wanted to have some of the food. It was at least as tall as me and had a beak longer than my arm. A bit scared of these giant bird I back up against the wall and mutters darkly, but loud enough for any of the people working there should hear me. The bird nuzzles it's beak to my hand and I figure he just want companionship and starts petting it. Out of nowhere it sticks the tip of it's beak into my mind and I was rather loud in my reactions. A couple of moments later it stick the beak far into my mind, making me retch several times. "Oh, there's the chocolate milk," is my first reaction when seeing the brown water I gag up, then I get my eyes properly open and dried. Then I see I have vomited on my other shoe, which I managed to step out of somewhere along the way. Again I wake up. [We had about birds in science today, but I had a Common Kestrel, not a pelican!]
A flash tells me my step-father just took a picture of me with his phone. Yup, now I'm really awake, no doubt about it.
Sorry for any typos, I have after all just woken.

And they finally managed to send A Dragonfly in Amber, so I'll be reading this weekend, yay!

Outlander meme

(Really just HP meme with other characters!)

00.) Randomly list twelve of your favorite Outlander characters:

01.) Jamie Fraser
02.) Murtagh
03.) Claire
04.) Colum MacKenzie
05.) Dougal MacKenzie
06.) Frank
07.) Jack Randall
08.) Jenny
09.) Rupert
10.) Geillis Duncan
11.) Auld Alec
12.) Hamish MacKenzie


01.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
Frank/Alec. Doubt it exists, too weird.


02.) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Colum. Maybe not hot, but definitively enjoyable.


03.) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Hamish got Jenny knocked up. Heads would roll, literary! Imagine how Jamie would react! Not to mention her husband, the poor lad would have a wooden leg down his throat! 

04.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?
Rupert. Haven't dared myself into the word of fanfics yet in fear of being spoiled.

05.) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Murtagh and Frank. You're kidding me?

06.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Dougal/Rupert or Dougal/Geillis. Don't think I have to answer that one, the latter of course! I don't fancy thinking about Rupert with anyone.


07.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Jack walking in on Murtagh and Hamish having sex. He would probably join them.

08.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.
Claire/Geillis. Er... A lost moment while doing something with herbs?

09.) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?
Jamie/Jenny. Hm... Not sure if I'm grossed out or turned on, which should be wrong. It's probably out there somewhere...

10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
Jack/Hamish. Just no.

11.) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
Colum de-flowering Jamie... Er... Too weird for me and not possible, since, well, you know... Technical problems.

12.) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
Jack. That's a stupid question, since it is in canon.

13.) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
Claire. Duh!

14.) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Alec. No, I don't think I've ever seen a single picture of him.

14.) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?
Murtagh/Dougal/Colum. My brain just exploded a little.

15.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
Geillis. Have no frickin' idea.

16.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Jenny. “Deliver me” by Sarah Brightman, maybe.

17.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Jamie/Dougal/Hamish. Warning: Incest, slash, too good to be true.

18.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
Geillis to use on Murtagh? No thanks.

19.) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
Dougal. Haven't dared myself to yet, I told you!

20.) What is Six's super-secret kink?
Frank. That he's really not that different from Jack...

21.) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?
Alec shag Rupert? Probably, but drunk.

22.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?
Claire and Jack. Well, that's not happening!

23.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.

Jamie and Rupert are in a happy relationship until Rupert suddenly runs off with Colum. Jamie, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Alec and a brief unhappy affair with Hamish, then follows the wise advice of Dougal and finds true love with Claire.

About the only thing that's sane is the ending!

24.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

Jack/Jenny. Pretty pissed off, but not as much as her brother! Oh, I loved that scene when Jamie and Jenny had the fight, except I wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up so she could explain.

--

Right? XD

Need I say more?

PRICELESS!

Actually not a stupid question. Found at HolyKiddingMe.com.

Recap of yesterday:

*Seeing a dude at the gas station*

Me: Okay, I've watched too many photos of a certain person.

E: No, that guy did look like Gerard Butler.

Me: Okay, it's not just me being crazy!

But that dude did look like a shaved Gerard Butler. Not that that's great, he's one of the few people who can pull off the half-beard and actually look good. We also got talking about how he is with an American accent and "Gerard Butler without Scottish accent is like pizza without cheese!"

We also got asked if we were sisters or something, because we seemed so close and stuff. Yay.

--

EFF! You-see-kay! I know of one person who stops by here regularly, who the heck are the rest of you? Would hurt if you left a comment, cuz now I got curious as hell! :D