A very disturbing afternoon

I went to bed to relax and fell asleep, which is rather normal, I think. What I dreamt was a bit peculiar, though.
First it was as close to normal as it gets, rats or something, so I woke up again, finding that at least one of my uncles were visiting, one of them who never drops by. I went out, through the office to the back, to them to find a girl I've known for about my whole life but never gotten close to and her father also had dropped by. We somehow ended up in the barn to find a lot of bikes, some of them not even having wheels and she commented one of them had a really bad seat, a banana seat as I'm pretty sure it's called.
Then my mother found an old scale (you know the kind that went out of fashion in the 50s) and weighed herself to check if it was still working, which she concluded it wasn't. I almost said something about it was a nice excuse to deny she had got fatter, but didn't. I tried fixing it, without really knowing what the problem was and cut my finger on one of the springs. To keep infections out I pressed it so it would bleed more, but about all that came out was water. After forcing a couple of drops out I was satisfied. And woke up again! [we don't have an exit in the office and not that big of a barn.]
Now I had managed to sleep-walk somewhere and didn't recognise the people around me. They were about my age and mostly guys and it smelled like dinner was around the corner. I took a peek out the window and concluded I know that road, I know that grey box that is a house, because that's where I'm supposed to be!
Stuttering I try to tell one of the guys, the one I guess lives there, my problem and he fills me in on what have happened. I take a seat at the arm of the couch, next to a blonde fellow trying sit a black-haired one to death. I'm invited to join and slips down with a comment about "We're gonna squish him completely" about the black-haired dude. He escapes somehow and me and Blondie are left to stare at each other until he inclines us both down and kiss me. Badly! Barely any lip movement and he literary pushed his spit over in my mouth.
I excuse myself to go to the kitchen and meet the mother, who is indeed cooking some chili or something. I ask if someone have a cigarette I could steal ("bomme") and she says it's just to help myself from the pack on the floor. Not asking why she have her smoke on the floor I kneel down and opens it, finding just butts save for one. Now the mother and (what I again guess to be) aunt and younger sister fiddels around with the dishwasher. I look up to hear baby-noises coming from the door of the open dishwasher. Almost screaming because they are just trying to soothe the baby instead of getting it out, I feel my vision blurring and wake up. [I have no idea who lived up at the farm and doubt they are my age. Plus, the baby-sounds would be related to the kid on the bus today. I also had to save a half-smoked fag because class started before I could finish it today.]
Now I know I'm awake, my head is heavy and I feel quite different. Not that you need to know at all, but if I'm going to tell this, I'm including everything; I stared touching myself. After a short while of that I looked up some anime-vids on youtube, even if I've never been into anime. It wasn't long before I got sick of them always ending with the same clip and slipped down some sort of water-slide, where a fire chased me to the first turn. The board I'm lying on goes pretty fast and I see a big-screen TV which was advertising for Ouran High School. Wanting to know when it was on TV, I hold out my hands to the edges of the slide to stop and the board keeps going while I watch the add, which I reacts on how strangely they pronounce "Ouran". Soon I keep slidling, whithout catching when the show went, and the slide runs dry.
I reach the end and stumbles out, falling flat on my face and wonders how many thinks I'm drunk, something I'm not! I look around and concludes I'm in an indoors petting zoo. After a kid runs off with one of my high-heeled, yellow shoes I wander around the small room and look at the animals. I meet a small boy (who actually looked a lot like one of my classmates. Well, he looks like he's twelve anyway,) and asked if he had taken my shoe. He hadn't, but he did have food for the animals, who had been let out of their cages and now roamed around. I saw black terriers and ferrets (brown, not white ) and some small rat-like things.
Then, a big bird looking like a cross between an ostrich and a pelican came up to me and wanted to have some of the food. It was at least as tall as me and had a beak longer than my arm. A bit scared of these giant bird I back up against the wall and mutters darkly, but loud enough for any of the people working there should hear me. The bird nuzzles it's beak to my hand and I figure he just want companionship and starts petting it. Out of nowhere it sticks the tip of it's beak into my mind and I was rather loud in my reactions. A couple of moments later it stick the beak far into my mind, making me retch several times. "Oh, there's the chocolate milk," is my first reaction when seeing the brown water I gag up, then I get my eyes properly open and dried. Then I see I have vomited on my other shoe, which I managed to step out of somewhere along the way. Again I wake up. [We had about birds in science today, but I had a Common Kestrel, not a pelican!]
A flash tells me my step-father just took a picture of me with his phone. Yup, now I'm really awake, no doubt about it.
Sorry for any typos, I have after all just woken.

And they finally managed to send A Dragonfly in Amber, so I'll be reading this weekend, yay!