Sex quotes

Because, honestly, the last few days I had a lot of cock-in-mouth moments (like foot-in-mouth, only sex-related).

Me: I have my period.

H: Well, that we needed to know.

Me: Eh, I share my sex life on the net, so -

H: Oh, so you -

Me: Yeah, I do have a sex life! *Everyone else is silent* Yeah, er... Start talking again now.

Pretty embarrasing, but could've been worse.

Me: *Looking in a magazine* Oh, he was good-looking. But then again, everything...

MM: Everything with two legs and a male organ...

Me: Yup, I call everything with two legs and a dick good-looking, and can people stop BEING SO DAMN QUIET!

Again everyone had heard what I've said... At least I managed not to shout out "I hope my period is over soon, cuz I'm goddamn horney!" I whispered it instead...

Honestly, I'm not too picky about the legs either, heartbeat and dick and I'm satisfied. Man, I'm getting desperate! Which is not a good thing. Just have to enjoy Jamie in the meantime.

R: Get me another cup of tea.

E: I'm not a butler!

Me: If you had been, I'd shag you. (Meaning Gerard Butler)

E: If I had been, I'd shag myself!

How that would happen, we didn't exactly know, but wanking in front of a big mirror was suggested, which I have to admit is a weird, but good sex fantasy.