depressed...

My goal for today was to have P. E. I don't remember the last time I was present in one of those classes. The day started okay, of course I haven't slept enough these last two nights, but anyway. My cellphone alarm started at 06.30 as usual, giving me up to an hour to snooze. The text I have put on it is simply "Charlie", that way I'll get some time 'with' him. Not really a clever move if I want to get out of this emotionally swamp, but I need it. At half past seven my friend called to drag me out of bed, as she said she would. Then I had had almost sixty minutes with him, half asleep. I think I had him a bit before the alarm started, too.

At school I was prepared to go to the first class, but I chickened out. Instead I used the time to read. Second class, same procedure, more angst. Spend lunch with friends. After that, I should get to P. E. but didn't, took the bus home instead. I just couldn't be around people anymore.

Today's diet have been two slices of bread, two glasses of juice, a cup of coffee and some cigarettes. Not good.

Now I just want to sleep. Get away from my real life and back to him. And I know what it is; stupid and pathetic. 

It's half past one, in five hours I have a parent-teacher meeting. (Not really the right term...) I'm not looking forward to it.

Forgot to write it yesterday, my friend did a knock out on her laptop. She slammed her fist down on it and it went into sleep-mode. Very good, indeed.